Crime Stories
May 13,2006 - Crime Stories is a dirty chore; an utterly boring, wasteful exercise of monotonous point-and-clicking with needles puzzles, terrible voice-acting and an archaic grip that simply reminds you why adventure games are the flagging genre they are.  Crime Stories successfully sheds a good light on the most mundane of puzzlers; sinking its teeth into so many adventure gaming failings, it misses any sort of recommendation.

Wait, erase. Anyone who enjoys a game steeped in intense monotony will find much to appreciate. This is an old-skool puzzler adhering to a well-trodden path while simultaneously failing to appreciate the more creative efforts of Indigo Prophecy and Dreamfall. And while the aforementioned titles are light on gameplay portions, they remain engrossing throughout, saddled with engaging plots, characters and superb narratives that, unlike Crime Stories’, never cause you to whisk off the sound in a huffy sweep.

Originally released in Europe under “Martin Mystere”, Crime Stories (incidentally the American version) tracks the exploits of the hulking Mystere, a detective of appropriately monotonous nature with a penchant for lifeless dialogue and a wife who exacts a controlling grip not far removed from that of the game’s.   

Crime Stories’ failings don’t stem from iffy production values, the odd bug or an ill-conceived set of puzzles. Rather, it’s the pure backward nature of the game that sends shivers of dread down your spine; it’s the apparent disinterest in creating something that, at the very least, verges on interesting. Besides translating Alfredo Castelli’s immensely popular comic into an iffy adventure game, nothing has been achieved – aside from stamping home the sentiment that adventure games need to change, or, at the very least, stay dear to the roots of the timeless classics.

It’s fairly safe to say that if you’re looking to create an adventure game, it needs either to be funny or to innovate. If both are achieved with a modicum of success you’re playing a darned good game; though, ironically, not a good example of the genre. Crime Stories, on the other hand, is a good example of what the genre is known for. Saddled with nonsensical design ploys and a general rash of poorly-voiced dialogue, it reminds us of the tedium this genre can offer. It’s only that…Well, Crime Stories is a whole lot worse than most.

In an attempt to hide the apparent lack of logical puzzles, this mire is clumped full of real-life oddities, but the act of leaving a crime scene to retrieve an ID badge before being granted the ability of prodding further, for example, is neither clever nor rewarding. Initially, pottering about Martin’s home in the search of real-life items is a novelty, but tedium is rammed home with alarming regularity as this opening chapter, devoted solely to needles chores, stretches past your threshold of acceptance. It’s too bad that the rest of the game is no better from an enjoyment point, as you’re exposed to a title that allows nearly every object to be interacted with; though this only serves to clutter your inventory with reams of objects.

The Visual and audio work fails to mop up the damage of such intrinsic gameplay failings too. Rather, they ride along with the rest of the morass, compounding the irritant of a game that is Crime Stories. On the odd occasion when Martin’s world can pass off as decent you’re exposed to the hammy animation and frustrating voiceowork, the latter of which severely suffers from pausing issues. Instances such as these: “Yes I will and…Can we…Speak to you…Tomorrow then?” prompt a desire for better script-reading and when the game dually responds, leaving descriptions of the gameworld without an accompanying voice, you feel as if there’s something… missing. Still, when dialogue isn’t being voiced, you’re given the benefit of the game’s background music that feels appropriately catchy at times, and certainly as varied as the plethora of locations Martin visits.

Even with a wide variety of locales and a decent musical score though, Crime Stories is a $20 ride of immense frustration. It’s true that proceedings become more interesting as you progress, but this feeling of general improvement might be down to the fact that you’re aware the end is ever closer. And, throughout, you’re never able to shake the feeling that you could be doing something more worthy of your time elsewhere.

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